Remembered Page 9

  “Watch it, son, or you just might find yourself walking home this afternoon,” Tol said smugly.

  Kellus laughed. “How are you?” he questioned her. “How is Cora?”

  “We’re both well, thank you,” she answered.

  “What are you doing here again?” Tol questioned. “Do you have nothing constructive to do in that big building across the street? I thought you needed to sign out for the weekend.”

  “I have twenty minutes to spare before I sign out for leave,” Kellus replied. “I had no intentions of coming back here so soon, but I saw an angel walking through your door. I came to see her for myself.”

  Annie wondered if Tol could hear her heart thundering in her chest.

  “Are you on your way home?” Kellus asked. “I could walk with you part of the way.”

  “That would be nice,” she answered shyly. “It was wonderful to see you again, Tol. I’ll visit you next time I’m in town.”

  “You had better, young lady,” Tol replied. “If I find out that you were in town and didn’t come to see me, I’ll be very disappointed.”

  Kellus and Annie walked slowly up the hill.

  “Do you visit your father every day?” she asked, raising her voice against the roar of the ocean.

  “Yes, every time I have a break from training. I miss the rest of my family, though,” he answered thoughtfully.

  “How often do you see them?”

  “I go home one weekend a month,” he explained. “We are also given two weeks leave in summer and two in winter. Markum and Zifini try to visit me at least once a week, but it’s hard for them. We are only allowed visitors between two and four o’clock, and Markum works on my family’s farm all day.”

  “Your family owns a farm as well as the shop?” she asked.

  “One hundred and twenty acres,” he replied. “It’s as I told you, my grandfather was wealthy. The farm was also his,” he shrugged his shoulders as if it was no big deal. “May I ask you a question before I go back to the Citadom,” he asked, stopping and turning to face her. “I’m on leave this weekend…” he’s eyes flickered from hers to the ground nervously. “Would you mind if I came to visit you tomorrow?”

  “I’d like that very much,” she answered, allowing him, once again, to thwart her efforts at getting over him.

  Much of Annie’s night was spent in turmoil. She tossed and turned for hours, unable to decide if seeing Kellus tomorrow was wonderful or just plain foolish. She wanted more than anything to see him, but knew that it wasn’t conducive to squelching the relentless yearning.

  Finally, she consoled herself with hopes that he may prove to have a bad temper, or some other personality disorder that would change her feelings. Maybe she would get to see a side of him tomorrow that would cure her of her insatiable longing. She slipped off to sleep, satisfied that this would be the case.

  What seemed like only moments later, she heard his voice from the front of the house. “Hello, Max,” she heard him say cheerfully.

  Her eyes sprung open.

  “Kellus, it’s great to see you,” she heard Max reply. “Please come in.”

  She nudged Cora then jumped up from bed. “Get up, Cora. Kellus is here to see us.”

  “See us?” Cora said, yawning loudly. “I don’t think so.”

  Annie washed quickly and pulled on a lavender skirt with a tight, white, sleeveless top. She fixed her hair and, taking a deep breath, opened the door and walked into the kitchen.

  “Good morning,” he said, smiling up at her. He was seated at the table, wearing tan trousers and a white linen shirt. It was the first time she had ever seen him in something other than his apprentice uniform, and the sight was breathtaking.

  “I hope you don’t mind me coming by so early. I realize I forgot to mention a time,” he added.

  “You look different,” she said stupidly, hoping that he couldn’t read on her face just how much she liked the difference. She sat down on the chair to his right and looked down at her hands.

  “I wonder if you would let me bring you out for the day,” he asked, “all three of you, I mean.”

  “What did you have in mind?” she questioned.

  “I borrowed a carriage from my father,” he explained. “There is a beautiful lake in East Vistira. I thought that maybe we could spend the day fishing or swimming. Then, in the evening, I’d like to bring the three of you to an inn nearby for dinner.”

  She opened her mouth to protest—she didn’t like the idea of him spending money on them—but Max beat her to it. “Please say yes, Annie,” he begged. “We never get to go anywhere nice.”

  “Please, it would make me very happy,” Kellus added, putting his hand on top of hers. She couldn’t refuse.

  They were ready to leave within twenty minutes.

  Max sat up in the front of the carriage with Kellus. Annie and Cora sat in the back on top of rolled up blankets. They rode through town and turned on the street to the right of the Bank Building—Sarry Road—which led onto the Ocean Road further north.

  The spring breeze flowed through Annie’s hair. The ocean broke rough on the sand and birds whistled in the trees. This, combined with Kellus’s laughter as he and Max exchanged amusing stories, sent her heart soaring. She closed her eyes and leaned back, felt the sun on her face, and let the lovely voice float around her. It was a perfect moment.

  In a fit of insanity, she let her mind wander off to forbidden places. She imagined that she was married to Kellus and that they spent every weekend this way: riding out to the country together. They would take Max and Cora with them. Max would be so happy to have a big brother, a male to bond with. ‘Don’t do this, it’s madness,’ she scolded herself inwardly. ‘Don’t start thinking of things you can never have.’ A pang of grief threatened to ruin her perfect moment, so she pushed it away. This was too beautiful a day for sadness.

  She listened to Kellus telling Max about life inside the Citadom. With so many young men living together, there were all sorts of mischief, pranks, and practical jokes being played constantly.

  She gazed out at mile after mile of scenery, marveling at the lovely countryside.

  Finally, after two hours, they arrived.

  Kellus jumped down from the carriage, came around to the side, and held out his hand to help her down. “Did you enjoy the journey?” he asked.

  She could have sworn that she felt him squeeze her hand just a little as she climbed down. “It was lovely, thank you,” she replied.

  They walked up a steep hill that gave way to a beautiful view. There, in the center of what looked like an enormous forest, was a lake that must have spanned two miles wide. The lake was surrounded by the most gigantic trees she’d ever seen, and was alive with geese, ducks, and swans swimming on the silvery-blue water.

  “Lovely, isn’t it? Kellus whispered into her ear.

  “It’s beautiful,” she answered.

  Annie was the last of the four to jump into the water. The cold was an immediate shock to her system.

  Kellus—who was underwater—broke surface right in front of her, smiling. He pushed his wet hair back from his face. Tiny droplets created three or four little clumps on his eyelashes, accenting his beautiful eyes. She pulled her gaze from his lovely face, only to gasp at his well contoured arms and shoulders. Suddenly, she was thankful for the freezing water for giving her—what would seem like—a legitimate reason for shivering uncontrollably before him.

  The Citadom should be ashamed for claiming such a perfect male, for leaving an unfortunate woman—namely her—unable to feel that perfect body up close and personal. The Citadom was supposed to uphold all that was good and virtuous and right, but this was, beyond any doubt, a crime against humanity.

  He laughed. “You’re turning blue,” he said, reaching out to rub his big strong hands up and down the tops of her arms, causing her to shiver even more. He narrowed his eyes. “Maybe you should move around a bit,” he suggested.

  After a couple of h
ours—and when they were all well pruned—they climbed out of the water and lay on the grass bank to dry in the sun.

  Max and Cora were completely taken with Kellus, and he with them. The way they talked, joked, and laughed together, it was evident that an irrefutable friendship was developing between them, making her only want him more—he was already thoroughly brother and sister approved. How would she ever get over this ridiculous addiction, especially since it was becoming obvious that he didn’t possess any personality disorders after all—he was perfect.

  As the afternoon wore on, Kellus sat cross-legged on the grass, chatting away with the twins about school. All of a sudden, Cora leaned into Max and whispered something in his ear. The twins abruptly decided it was time to go explore the forest. Annie knew Cora was purposely giving her and Kellus time alone, but for what, she had no clue. It was bad enough that she was pining for an unavailable man, but now Cora was in collusion with that stupid notion, and worse yet, was dragging Max into her schemes.

  Annie turned to Kellus when the twins had gone. “What things do you learn at the Citadom?” she asked, leaning back on her elbows, facing him.

  “We learn how to open our minds to the power of the Universe, and to use that power for the benefit of others,” he replied, “among many other things.”

  “How do you do it?” she asked.

  “Through much meditation, to begin with,” he answered.

  “You meditate?” she questioned.

  “For thirty minutes every morning,” he responded, “and at least thirty minutes in the evening, if not an hour.”

  “What is this power, this power of the Universe?” she questioned

  “Well, first and foremost, it is love,” he answered. “It is pure, unconditional love, the very essence of the creator.”

  “And you can use this power for yourself?” she asked.

  “One can. After all, we are all part of the Universe, therefore, one with everything in it,” he answered, “but it’s not advised, at least not for us at the Citadom. The power works better when it’s in service to others. Isn’t that what love really is, the giving of yourself to others?”

  “But you could if you wanted?” she pushed, fascinated. “You could use this power to obtain anything?”

  “Yes, Annie,” he chuckled. “You could use it to obtain anything you wished, provided what you desire doesn’t hurt others. Why do you ask?” he questioned, eyeing her with amused suspicion. “Do you want to find a way into the vaults at the Bank Building, or some other lofty target?”

  “Of course not,” she protested. “I don’t desire money. Well, not enough to obtain it illegally.”

  “I know. It was merely a poor attempt at humor. I’m sorry,” he said, still chuckling.

  “Since you asked, I’d like to know what kind of things you would wish for,” she questioned eagerly. “What kind of things you desire.”

  “Things that I’m not supposed to want or desire,” he replied much too quickly and solemnly, looking straight across the lake, pulling blades of grass from the ground.

  “Like what?” she queried, feeling suddenly sorry that she’d asked. It seemed her question caused him pain.

  “We’re not supposed to want anything for ourselves, especially while we’re apprentices. That’s one of the reasons that we wear a uniform and have very little possessions at the Citadom. Our minds are supposed to be cleared of all earthly desires. We are supposed to want only to serve the public,” he explained.

  “Supposed?” she said. “You said that more than once. It’s as though you don’t completely believe what you say.”

  “I do believe, in theory at least. My disbelief comes from not understanding how it can be wrong for a person to want something if it wouldn’t hurt another, that is. Especially when they have tried to push it from their mind, but the desire is so strong that they cannot fight it. I can’t understand how something like that could be wrong. Isn’t it the creator that puts the want, the desire there to begin with?”

  “I think I know what you mean,” she said, staring down at the grass.

  She looked up to Kellus gazing at her pensively. “Do you, Annie? Do you really know what I mean?” he asked skeptically.

  She thought he was about to say something else, something that she wouldn’t want to hear, so she changed the subject. “So, meditating helps hone this power?” she questioned.

  “The purpose of meditating is to quiet the mind. When the mind is quiet, one’s individual story is also quieted, the petty details of their human life. With a quiet mind, it is far easier to sense the oneness with all things, then to be in service of the creator through the Universal power. It’s daunting at first, hard to comprehend, but it comes clear gradually,” he explained, shrugging his shoulders and smiling warmly, but a ghost of the pain still reflected in his eyes.

  Cora and Max walked out from the trees at that moment, effectively ending the conversation.

  “Who’s hungry?” Kellus said after a few seconds of silence, his mood suddenly brighter.

  They made their way back across the field and down the hill to the carriage.

  The journey to the inn took only minutes.

  They had a wonderful dinner, and by the time they were ready to leave, night had fallen.

  Annie sat up front next to Kellus on the journey back west, giving Max and Cora the space to lie down on the blankets in the back of the carriage.

  “It was a wonderful day, Kellus. I can’t thank you enough,” she said as they traveled along in almost complete darkness.

  “The pleasure was mine. I should thank you,” he answered. “It was an honor to spend the day with you and your family. I’m amazed at how well I get along with the twins. I like them both very much.”

  “Only the twins?” she asked.

  “No, I like you as well,” he replied, “much more than I should,” he added in a low voice, causing butterflies in her stomach.

  They traveled along in silence for some time, the darkness eerie. It was almost impossible to see anything, and Annie was scared that they would veer off the road. Thankfully, the moon emerged from behind the clouds just before they reached the East-West Crossing.

  As they approached the place where her parents had fallen to their deaths, she felt Kellus reach over and take her hand. “It must be hard for you to pass here,” he said softly.

  “It’s sad for me. It was such a strange accident. I wish it never happened. I often wonder how different my life would have been if they hadn’t died,” she answered.

  “I know,” he said quietly, squeezing her hand. “What was your mother like?” he asked. She could tell that he was trying to distract her.

  “Mother was beautiful,” she responded. “She was so kind and loving, always hugging and kissing us. There was never a doubt that we were loved deeply. My father adored her. It often seemed that he never really got over his good fortune in convincing her to marry him.”

  As they journeyed on, Kellus did not relinquish her hand. She kept her fingers resting in his all the way home.

  “Would you mind if I stayed for a while?” he asked when they pulled up in front of her house. “I need a rest from driving before I continue home.”

  “Of course,” she replied.

  Max trudged past them, walking half asleep, down the hall into his bedroom.

  Cora hugged Kellus’s neck and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, Kellus. I had a perfect day,” she said.

  “It was my pleasure,” he answered, hugging her back.

  She squeezed Annie’s hand as she passed.

  Annie and Kellus sat down at the kitchen table together, and once again, talked for hours.

  “Would you like me to read your cards?” she asked. She jumped up and grabbed a deck from one of the kitchen drawers after an awkward moment of silence. She was willing to try anything to keep him there longer.

  “You read cards?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “That’s impressive.”

  “No
t very well,” she countered. “I do it only for amusement. I don’t really believe in such things, though my mother did.”

  “All right then, let’s have it,” he said with a soft laugh.

  After Kellus shuffled and picked out his cards, she laid them out in a formation that her mother had taught her, and turned them over. And then she burst into laughter. “I told you this was make believe,” she warned playfully.

  “What?” he asked, laughing along with her.

  “According to your cards, you’re going to marry soon,” she informed him

  “I’m going to marry?” he asked, amused. “I’m sure the men at the Citadom would be interested in this information.”

  “Oh, it gets better, Kellus. Not only are you going to marry, but you are going to marry a woman that you are desperately in love with, a rare and almost magical love that most people don’t find in a lifetime,” she announced, her head still bent over the cards.

  “How very interesting,” he replied with a chuckle.

  “Did you always know you would never marry?” she asked, looking up at him. “Was there ever a time when you thought you would before you decided to join the apprenticeship at the Citadom?”

  “Once I dreamt of it,” he confessed. “I once lost my heart to a beautiful girl. I imagined for weeks after what it would be like to have a girl like that all to myself.”

  Nothing could have prepared her for the rush of envy that bombarded her. “Did she feel the same way?” she asked.

  “She didn’t even know I existed,” he said with a sigh. “I was very young at the time. It passed, I guess, and then shortly after, I learned that there was a position secured for me at the Citadom, should I wish to take it. It seemed like a more noble life to me, being in service to the public. So this is the path I’ve chosen.” He gazed into her eyes with the strangest, unreadable look on his face, a look that she found disturbing in a way she couldn’t understand, almost causing her to visibly flinch.

  “Would you like a cup of tea?” she questioned, jumping up to fill a pot with water. She could not shake the uneasy feeling that his expression caused her. She turned to look at him briefly, and saw that the look remained. His eyes bore into her, his jaw locked.